A poet in the making?

It doesn’t happen very often, but every now and then my other half, Robert, does something romantic. Like the time he didn’t just make me a plate of chips, but a plate where each chip had been individually and paintstakingly cut into a love heart… I know, must have taken him hours!

Then there are the occasions when he’s written me poetry. Oh yes, I’ve had a few poems over the years, all for my eyes only on account of his embarrassment, of course. Although he did read one of his verses out to those in attendance when we renewed our wedding vows a few years ago.

Anyways, the other day he asked me if I’d read another one of his poems, except this time it wasn’t written with me in mind; he just wanted to know what I thought about it. Obviously as an author I know the last person able to give objective feedback is a family member, so with his permission I wondered if you’d all do the honours on my behalf?

 
Gone
A poem by Robert Tullett
 
Finally, he’s fast to sleep
Of no distraction was my weep
I’ll bathe my arm, I’ll cover my bruise,
I’ll clean my face that he abused
I can no longer dance this song
Just having to simply play along
 
Then after making sure it’s calm
I’ll gently wake our broken kids
I now invoke my strongest charm
So not to raise immense alarm
I reassure to stem their fear
And wipe away their frightened tear.
The light once far and often dim
Now screaming out and well within

Down the landing, to the stair
Scared to death we pass the lair
Relieved, we hear a drunken snore
 Memory of a bully’s roar
Tears now streaming down my face
Gulping hard & quickning pace
Its time to leave this bad, mad, place
That screams of utter, sheer, disgrace 
Please cry quietly, little ones
I promise soon we shall be gone
Into the darkest cold of night

We huddle close to beat the fright

We grip, we cling, we feel its sting

Hearts now loud and echoing

And so to safety, so to light
 eradicating all our plight
 
 It did I fear take all my might
But now at least, we can sleep tight!
Personally, I like it. I think it’s powerful. But despite having had poetry published I have to say I’m no expert. Which is where I’m hoping you’ll all come in. 
 
So, guys, what do you think? Could Robert be a poet in the making? x

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14 responses to “A poet in the making?

  1. He's come across women in this situation so many times at work that their feelings have obviously made an impact.As always, thanks for stopping by, Paula. Robert will be touched x

  2. Hear Dr. Seuss on spouse abuse. There is one missing rhyme, several bad meters. The subject is hackneyed and nothing new is brought to the oft told tale. Very little poetic imagery. On the bright side, there is some good writing there and many other people seem to like it.

  3. Lovely of you to say, Pam, thanks for taking the time to comment.I also think he's done a good job. Especially for someone with no 'writing' experience, someone who just puts his thoughts down every once in a while x

  4. While I am not a professional writer, I like what I like even if others don't. I rarely read poetry but I have to say I do like this poem. It has all the earmarks of what I call sounding just right. It flows well and is very poignant. Also the poem has set my emotions to flowing. I feel for the subject of the poem.

  5. I'm the same you you, rd. I like what I like, but as for a poem's technical construction I wouldn't really know where to start. It's nice to hear Robert's poem touched you on an emotional level; he'll be pleased to hear that.Thanks for dropping by and please feel free to call in again x

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